


There's poison in the air

by acatbyanyothername



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Now with stunning art, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29694114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acatbyanyothername/pseuds/acatbyanyothername
Summary: Qui Gon has a vision of Mustafar
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn & Ahsoka Tano, Qui-Gon Jinn & Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 36
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pomiar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomiar/gifts).



> For Pom, the best pomtato of all, happy birthday !!! Thank you to tess, scruffy and lils for the encouragement and bêta reading. As always you are the best.

When he sees the boy for the first time fighting another initiate with snowy white hair, his vision doubles for a heartbeat. A raging inferno burns around him, anger, fear, despair, rage suffocate him. Two shadowy figures are locked in a brutal battle. Blazing azure blades carve the space around them. Qui Gon can't make out their identity.

Between one heartbeat and the next he's back in the salles, overseeing the initiates battles, but the sickening smell of sulfur clings to his nose, and his tunics are drenched in sweat. He focuses back on the duel before him, _for him_ he knows. Both boys are ferocious, a duel without any mercy. 

His mind is made up even before the end of the match. He won't take any of the boys as a padawan. Too angry. Spectres of past and future whisper to him of the dark. So he turns his back on both of them and puts them out of his mind.

But the visions continue to plague him. No matter how much he tries to not think about them, like wisps of smoke, the glimpses he gets of the future cling to him. Aboard _The Monument_ , and on Bandomeer, a pattern emerges. 

These visions are linked to the flame-haired boy. He can't recall the name although the ex-initiate must have told him. All he sees are the dancing flames of his hair as the smell of smoke clogs his nostrils.

He takes the boy as his padawan. He still doesn't know what his visions are trying to tell him, but he's never put much faith in them anyway. And how could he refuse taking the boy after such a display of jedi spirit ?

His name is Obi Wan and at first Qui Gon doesn't know what to make of his new padawan. He's certain now that one of the men in his vision is Obi Wan. He still has no idea who the other person is. But as time passes, the visions get clearer if less frequent.

Sometimes he forgets them, lulled by the quiet companionship of his new shadow and his dimpled smiles. Sometimes he looks at his padawan and wonders where the anger went. Obi Wan is driven, falling asleep on the one too many books he borrowed from the fearsome Master Nu, mastering a kata until his limbs are shaking and shadows have fallen over the mosaïc walls of the salles.

Many times Qui Gon reaches without thinking, ruffling the soft russet hair, or rebraiding a messy braid that looks more like a rat-tail than anything else at first. And every time the soft smile that lightens his padawan eyes to a pale grey-green fills him with warmth. 

He's also whip-smart and more than one evening is spent debating philosophy or history. And Qui Gon almost forgets the ominous future that haunts both of their steps. As years pass, he sees the man his padawan is becoming, closer and closer to his visions. He knows despite his padawan’s grumbles that he will never get as tall as him. 

Qui Gon's problem is this. He never has any context for the visions that come and go. Broken bits of dialogue remain with him once he wakes up but nothing that could help him parce the big picture together. When the visions come he longs for his old Master. The man would have helped him, more than ancient texts could. Dooku always had a gift with languages that he put to good use when translating ancient prophecies. 

Qui Gon doesn't have such talent and is left relying on meditations to try to tease more information out of his visions. Always the same. Two men fighting, glacier-blue blades clashing in a dizzying match as the fighters leaped and ran among flames. Then the vision changes.

Obi Wan's face. Weary. Stained with soot, sweat and tears. Heartbroken. Twisted. His tunics are burned, his blade is unsheathed. Qui Gon doesn't hear the words shouted between him and the other man in dark leather tunics. All he sees is his padawan brandishing his lightsaber and in a devastating finishing move severs the limbs of the other man, leaving him to burn in the lava.

Qui Gon lurches out of the vision. Bile rises in his mouth. He doesn't even have time to make it to the fresher. He bends over his sleeping couch and vomits, chest heaving, choking on the tears that pour down his face and drench his beard. Hands on his shoulders, twisting the heavy mass of his hair out of his face. 

Steady, calloused hands. He flinches. Obi Wan. Sulfur. Heat and despair. But it's cold. And dark. Solid mattress and the soft murmur of plants. He's in his quarters on Coruscant. A quiet cultured voice talks to him. 

"Master," it says, "Master," it asks, "are you alright?". But he can't. Those tender hands will one day commit one of the most heinous acts ever and he weeps. First Xanatos, now Obi Wan. Haunted by the ghosts of his failures past and future, won't the Force give him any respite? 

"I am fine Obi Wan," he rasps. A lie. They both know it. The hands disappear. 

"If you say so, Master." The tone is light, but Obi Wan stays by his side. He doesn't leave him. His padawan is a warm light in the Force, he doesn't glow as brightly as some others but his light is steady, constant, luminous. 

He wonders when it will change. When his light will be corrupted. Because it will. Qui Gon has seen it. So he shuns his padawan’s concern and touch. Already grieving for what did not even have time to be. 

Things don't get better after that. But they don't get any worse either. Ever since that night, Obi Wan hasn't touched him once. Like in all things his diligent padawan took note and refrained from initiating any contact. And Qui Gon is too afraid to initiate it himself. 

His heart is heavy when he teaches Obi Wan the aerial manoeuvres of Ataru in which his padawan finds obvious delight. His eyes are veiled with tears when the russet head is bent over poetry or a historical volume brought back from the archives and the fierce clutches of Jocasta.

And yet, Qui Gon can't quite cut Obi Wan from his heart. It's a guilty pleasure and a joy to hone the sharp mind that hides behind solemnly mischievous eyes, to watch his student fly. And through it all, Obi Wan's dedication burns bright. 

Yet Qui Gon spends his nights in the Archives pouring over ancient texts and prophecies about Sith. Looking for answers he doesn't have. Sometimes his old Master joins him, until it's his Master's turn to be buried in the archives day and night, a feverish glow in his eyes.

Years pass and soon Obi Wan is a young man. And despite everything Qui Gon is so proud of him he might weep. Naboo happens, and Qui Gon is blinded by a nova-bright child from a desert planet. Anakin is nine but he's already the most brilliant light of all. 

And something in him whispers that this might finally be it, he might finally have found the light that will chase the darkness away. He takes him back to Coruscant with him, with them. Because Obi Wan is here too and Qui Gon tries to not think of how much he might be hurting his padawan now. But he _has_ to.

The Jedi Council refuses to take Anakin. Desperate, driven by hopelessness born of years of watching his padawan try to cut down another, he takes Anakin as his padawan. 

Light from the city spills inside the council room in a warm glow, but it can't hide the sudden iciness that has taken over the assembly. Absolute silence greets Qui Gon's declaration, only for Yoda to dismiss it, saying that later the young skywalker’s fate would be decided.

They are sent back to Naboo, and like that night so many years ago, Qui Gon awakens with Obi Wan's screams ringing in his ears "You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!". But this time there's no nausea. Just crushing grief and a new certainty. Anakin will be his padawan learner, and he will protect him. 

Silent tears slip down his cheeks but he makes no move to wipe them away. All these years he had wanted to trust his senses so badly, because how could Obi Wan ever be dark? But the Force had been clear, and this new vision was the final confirmation. 

Qui Gon doesn't trust anyone above the Force. It's the core of the Jedi way. So he knows Obi Wan _will_ turn, one day or another, and then it will be his duty to stop him.

When they come face to face with the Sith on Naboo, he knows the Force is not done with them yet. Obi Wan falls, and Qui Gon gets run through by a crimson saber. He wakes up in the Healing Halls at the Temple with Anakin by his side. Obi Wan is nowhere to be seen. 

Recovery is long and arduous, but Anakin is the brightest star by his side, hair newly shorn in the padawan cut and the stub of a braid behind his right ear. He never learns how he managed to survive the wound. He doesn't really ask, too afraid of the answer.

Anakin grows, Obi Wan disappears from Qui Gon's life. When his Master falls, Qui Gon can't say he's surprised. He had seen for a long time how longer and darker shadows had grown in his Master's eyes over the nights in the Archives. There was a reason Qui Gon stopped going there.

Then war is upon them, and nothing else matters. It's all consuming. One day, he catches a glimpse of Obi Wan in the temple corridors, the bright flame of his hair having lightened over the years. His head is bent over a little to talk to a Togruta girl whose montrals almost reach the top of the other man's head. 

Qui Gon may not recognize the Togruta, but his heart will always know and recognize Obi Wan. The very same heart that freezes in his chest. 

His first thought is to wonder just when did his padawan become this fully grown Jedi knight, his second thought is terror because Obi Wan looks almost exactly like he did in all his visions. His third thought is the most terrifying of all of them. Obi Wan is _beautiful_. 

Before Obi Wan has the chance to see him, Qui Gon flees. 

His frozen heart begins beating again, a thundering staccato in his chest. He can't breathe. Opening his mouth doesn't help. No air enters his lungs, there's a vice getting tighter and tighter around him. 

He can't breathe. Dark spots cloud his vision. He doesn't feel the Temple's floor under his feet nor the wall he's leaning on. He can't feel his brethren either, and his bond with Anakin had been severed some months ago upon his padawan's knighting.

There's warmth on his arm. Burning through the layers. There's a small and steady flame. The warmth anchors him. The light guides him. The world around him lurches back into focus. Everything is too bright, too noisy, despite the quiet of the Temple corridors.

There's a voice calling him, telling him to breathe. Finally, his heart calms down from its frenzy and Qui Gon squeezes the hands that hold him steady.

"Thank you, Anakin," he breathes, not looking up. The hands immediately let him go. Qui Gon opens his eyes. He looks up.

He does not meet the sky blue eyes of his latest padawan. Instead he drowns in a pool of stormy blue-grey.

Obi Wan.

"I am sorry if I have inconvenienced you, Master Jinn. Would you like me to call Anakin or Master Windu?" 

The tone is polite, friendly, utterly impersonal and something in Qui Gon weeps.

"That won't be necessary thank you, Knight Kenobi," he manages to answer despite the emotion clogging his throat.

"It's Master Kenobi, actually," Obi Wan corrects him gently and firmly. He looks straight into Qui Gon's eyes when he says this and the Master feels the floor give out from under him again. 

"Congratulations, Obi Wan," he manages to say, and the brief look of utter surprise and devastation on Obi Wan's face upon hearing the words before the Jedi mask slides into place again is like a vibroblade through Qui Gon's soul. 

In this moment, he wonders if he might not be better telling Obi Wan about his vision, finally sharing the burden that has streaked his hair with white and veiled his eyes for years. 

Anakin rounds a corner and is upon them in two great strides, barely acknowledging Obi Wan and instead bending to come to Qui Gon's height.

"You gave me a fright, Master. I could feel you from the other side of the Temple. Come with me, I'll help you." 

Anakin doesn't even give him a chance to protest before hauling him to his feet again and almost dragging him back to their quarters. 

"Was that Knight Kenobi?" Anakin asks, voice tight.

"Master, actually," Qui Gon corrects him, mind still reeling.

"I don't like him Master, especially if it puts you in such a state. What did you want to talk to him about?" Anakin asks sharply. Qui Gon softens at Anakin's protective tone.

"Nothing padawan, a vision. Though it might be better that you came in, he might have dismissed your old Master otherwise," Qui Gon laughs half-heartedly.

"I would never dismiss you Master, I am so grateful for everything you’ve ever done for me." Anakin reassures him as they arrive at Qui Gon's quarters and the young man finally leaves Qui Gon to his thoughts.

That night, Qui Gon goes to the Archives and downloads all of Obi Wan's records since Naboo, in a futile attempt to regain what was forever lost to time and darkness. It's a gaping wound that can never heal, no matter how much he tries.

The war continues, darkness grows, and Obi Wan is given a seat on the Council. The animosity between Anakin and Obi Wan rises. Qui Gon worries swell. 

Anakin is absent more often than not, either shipped off to fight battles all across the galaxy or seeking council at the Supreme Chancellor's Office and refuge at Padme Amidala's side. 

And Qui Gon? Qui Gon is feeling more lonely than ever. 

He's having dinner with a young Togruta, Obi Wan's padawan, he had learned not long after that fateful day. Ahsoka has a quicksilver wit and makes for a wonderful conversation partner. It helps ease his loneliness. 

She may be his grand padawan in name only, and not even that, but it doesn't stop him.

They don't talk about her Master, not anymore. Not after Qui Gon changed the subject the first few times it happened in a way belying all his years of diplomacy. 

He doesn't think about why he struck a friendship with the padawan. 

They are eating at Dex when the unthinkable happens.

Tens of thousands of lights suddenly go out at the same time and the Force _howls._ A horrifying wail fills their souls as something is _torn_ away from them both. Shields slam up. Hands grasp each other. Teeth are gritted as they try to ride the agony ripping them apart. 

Qui Gon has no idea how long they stay like that. Has no idea what’s happened. Only that something horrifying has. He looks at Ahsoka who looks so much younger now, face pale and drawn, lips split by her sharp canines.

Moving takes a colossal effort. Every limb is like lead and his head still rings with thousands of phantom cries.

"Stay with Dex!" Qui Gon manages to tell Ahsoka. He has to run. He needs to find Anakin, his padawan. Going to the Temple would be a futile endeavour. Experience has taught him that he's more likely to find Anakin at Padme's flat than in the Temple.

Trying to make his limbs hurry is painful, he's numb and disconnected. He bumps into tables and people and doesn't see them, until he stumbles into Dex's arms. The Besalik face is grim and closed off. He bars Qui Gon from the exit.

"You can't leave that way Qui Gon buddy! Not dressed like a space monk. Come with me, and bring the little one, it's not safe for her here." Dex leads them to the back of the dinner and makes them swap clothes for some unremarkable civilian apparel. Not that any clothes can disguise Qui Gon's height or Ahsoka's montrals. 

Qui Gon leaves Ahsoka with Dex and fights against the mounting hysteria. The stench of the dark side is overwhelming, rotten and sickly sweet, it's wrapped around every street in Coruscant.

He manages to hail a speeder and heads over to Padme's flat only to see a ship leave it. It doesn't matter. He knows where the ship is going and already he can feel the thirst as the heat surrounds him. He needs to find a ship to follow Padme, and fast. Time is of the essence.

After the air taxi drops him near one of Coruscant spaceports, he ends up stealing a ship. Coruscant is crawling with identical white armors and helmets. News applauding Chancellor Palpatine's new investiture as Emperor are playing on loop on every advertiscreen, only broken by even louder proclamations about the Jedi's treason against the new Galactic Empire. 

It's loathsome and Qui Gon is almost glad to leave it all behind as he departs from Coruscant. The vision had not lied. Mustafair is as accursed as he feared it would be, with a sky as black as soot, alight with glowing red and orange hues from the titanic volcanic cones that vomit lava relentlessly. 

The air shivers like a mirage from the heat, rumbles with the sound of perpetual eruptions and stinks of sulfur. The crust snaps and crackles as lava tears new fissures in the ground. He can already breathe the nauseous smell of burning flesh.

He's shaking, sweaty fingers failing to hit the right buttons on the ship. Qui Gon might not be an expert pilot like Anakin, but even he would be ashamed of his landing, if he wasn't already consumed by the imminent tragedy.

Padme's ship is already on the landing pad but neither Obi Wan nor Anakin are anywhere to be seen. But there's a dark shape lying on the ground, like a rag doll carelessly thrown there and then abandoned. He can't make out any colors between the blinding heat and the red light. 

Is it Anakin? Is he too late? He kicks himself out of the cockpit as soon as he can and rushes forward. The sprawled figure isn't Anakin. It's Padme. He falls on his knees in front of her, fearing that it's already too late for her. But she's breathing if barely. Carefully, he scoops her from the ground, careful to not jostle her.

He has no idea what happened here. But the results are clear. Going after Anakin is still fine, the young man is a Jedi, he can protect himself, but going after Padme in such a vulnerable state? Never would he have thought that Obi Wan would fall this far. 

But then he hasn't known Obi Wan in a very long time. 

As soon as he steps foot into the Nubian ship, he's accosted by a rambling protocol droid and a frantic R2D2. Unlike Anakin, Qui Gon had never managed to learn basic and can't understand what the droid is telling him. 

"Look after her, and make sure nothing happens while I'm gone," Qui Gon tells the droid sternly, checking on the young woman one last time, ensuring her vitals are stable and hoping to put an end to the flurry of noises. He doesn't care for their squabbles. He has two former padawans to find.

It's harder than it should be. The Force still echoes with death and the dark side has fallen like an iron curtain, crippling him. But even more than half-blind, the supernova that is Anakin Skywalker should be easy to find. But it eludes him. In the end it's not the Force but the deafening screech of metal that alerts him. One of the rigs of the Techno Union mining complex anchored to the side of the volcanic cliff has fallen into the lava and even from where he stood, hundreds of meters above, Qui Gon can still see two blindingly blue blades locked in a desperate battle.

There is no way Qui Gon can simply jump down using the Force. One little miscalculation and he would face the same end as that rig, devoured by the lava. But even if he can’t, the DLC-13 mining droid can. 

Faster and faster he pushes the droid, guiding him with the Force just enough to influence its trajectory. Closer and closer they get to the clashing blades, the only source of blue in this world of darkness and fire. A crescendo builds in his bones and in the Force. And though Qui Gon still can't tell the combatants apart, what little he can see fills him with awe.

The blades clash lightning fast, neither giving ground nor tiring despite the hellish conditions. As the droid he's standing on comes close to a bank, he jumps. The ground is treacherous, the bank slippery. Volcanic sand, like ash, gives out under his feet, and threatens his balance at every step.

He runs. So near to the lava flow, the heat is almost unbearable. It burns his lungs and clothes. But still he presses on. His former padawans are not too far away now, fighting on a platform protected, like every piece of technology here, by a repulsor field. Anakin and Obi Wan seem to have reached a tie. Trading blows until their blades are locked. It's a magnificent sight. 

And then Obi Wan escapes. He hurls himself backwards in a gracious arc, landing softly and safely on the very same bank Qui Gon is standing on, not two feet away from him. 

"It's over Anakin, I have the high ground," shouts Obi Wan. His face is dirty, streaked with sweat and soot and blood. His tunics are singed too. He raises his blade. Qui Gon intercedes.

"OBI WAN!" The yell is loud enough to be heard over the noises and Obi Wan freezes. Turns to Qui Gon, the icy blade still lit in his hand. His face is a grotesque mask.

"Why Qui Gon? Why stop me now? After all he has done?" Obi Wan cries.

"I won't let you," he roars. Lights up his blade, ready to face his fallen padawan. He can't see Obi Wan's eyes, but it's a relief. He doesn't want to look into sulfur yellow where blue green eyes had once been. 

"Don't stop me Qui Gon, please!" And why is Obi Wan pleading? Does he want him to join like his old Master once did? He refused once. He refuses again.

"I won't join you Obi Wan, not after everything!" one step forward, his foot sinks into the soft ground. Obi Wan doesn't look away from him. A loud laugh tears through the atmosphere.

"You have failed, Obi Wan!" crows Anakin. And Qui Gon wants to warn him. Anakin was always cocky, but he shouldn't underestimate Obi Wan. He has seen it enough time to know how it ends. 

But before he can warn his padawan, it's Anakin's turn to launch himself through the air like Obi Wan did not long ago. Stunned eyes that have been focused on Qui Gon only, turn back to Anakin.

It's too late. Azure blade in hand, Anakin comes down on Obi Wan, slashing a searing wound across the other man's torso. Obi Wan crumples. Qui Gon finally closes the distance. He would have cried if Mustafar hadn't drained any moisture left in his body long ago. 

He hugs Anakin fiercely. 

"Anakin! You're alive. Oh my padawan. I am so grateful."

Anakin doesn't hug him back. Slowly Qui Gon releases him. 

"Anakin?" he asks. He looks at his padawan, his dark tunics, his sweaty hair, his blazing eyes...something cold grows in his chest.

"Anakin?" he asks again. The other man seemingly doesn't hear him, eyes trained on Obi Wan. Finally he focuses back on Qui Gon, eyes alight.

"We did it Master!" What they did, Qui Gon has no idea. He doesn't ask.

"My mission is finished! We can go back to Coruscant now Master!" Anakin excitement is almost enough to make Qui Gon forget all his worries. He wants to smile, his padawan enthusiasm hasn't changed. But it's tinged with something new. Something he recognized from long ago. A sort of frenzy that had taken hold of his Master ages ago.

But he's not too late. Not this time. He did it. So he hugs Anakin again, and urges him to go back on Coruscant.

"Padme's wounded Anakin, I don't know what Obi Wan did to her. But please take care of her."

"I will Master, thank you," replies Anakin. He leaves Qui Gon on the desolate bank, without even a backward glance to the man that was once his brother padawan. Qui Gon can't bring himself to do the same. So he comes closer until he can kneel next to his fallen former padawan.

His hand is shaking. He doesn't know what he fears the most, that Obi Wan is dead, or that he's alive. He reaches out a trembling hand and takes the pulse. But he can't feel anything over his rushing blood. Panicked, he holds his fingers over the other man's mouth. He waits. Every sound except his heartbeat disappears. One beat. No breath yet. Two beats. Three beats. His heart pounds furiously. 

Finally. Finally a weak breath tickles his fingers. Obi Wan is alive. Cautiously, like he did with Padme before, he carries Obi Wan off the ground and begins the arduous climb back to the facility.

He's exhausted when he finally reaches the landing pad. Padme's ship is still here. He blinks. And wonders is this is a mirage caused by the heat. But no. Padme herself, clutching C3P0 for support stands there, a still fuming blaster in hand. Her face is white and she's shaking like a leaf. But her arm is steady. 

"Are you ready to leave, Master Jinn?" asks the droid politely, as if they were standing in the middle of Padme's senatorial suite and not in a mining facility somewhere in the Outer Rim.

Padme cuts whatever answer is on the tip of his tongue.

"Of course we are C3P0," she snaps. She doesn't ask him any questions about Obi Wan, about Anakin, and he's grateful. He wouldn't know how to answer her. Still, he has to ask.

"Where is Anakin? I thought he wouldn't leave without you," Padme only grits her teeth.

"He will be lucky to leave at all, Master Jinn," she snaps before turning over to R2D2. They set course over to Polis Massa where they meet with Master Yoda and Bail Organa.

As soon as they meet the other Jedi, Yoda hands his great-grand padawan over to the care of a medical droid. Qui Gon also finally learns the truth of what happened. The Jedi order is no more. The clones killed their Jedi officer and a Sith Lord had marched upon the Coruscant Temple and slaughtered the younglings. 

It's too much. He had failed in the end. How arrogant he had been, to think that the only thing that needed protecting was Anakin. His failure has now cost the lives of all the other Jedi. He only waits until Padme's exhausting labour is over. Meeting Luke and Leia is like meeting Anakin all over again, the twin stars as bright as their father.

He doesn't wait for Padme to recover, doesn't wait for Obi Wan to wake up from bacta. He can't face the treacherous man. He flees to Tatooine, to where it all began.

He doesn't know how long he stays there. Long enough for words of the terrifying Lord Vader to reach his ears, long enough for words about a Rebellion to spread in hushed tones. Time slips through his fingers like sand.

He meditates, or tries to. He fails. Every single time. He tries again. The cycle repeats. He sometimes tries to reach Padme, or Bail or Master Yoda. He tries to understand how it all happened. He fails. He dreams of Obi Wan exactly once. The man is in full Jedi regalia, his face is a mask of desolation. He kisses Padme's cheek. "It is time for me to correct my mistakes," he whispers. 

The vision ends and Qui Gon is left standing utterly alone, in absolute darkness without beginning and without end. Infinite emptiness. Even the Force seems to have forsaken the place. He wakes up and can't stop trembling. He leaves Tatooine the next day.

When he stumbles into Lake Country, he's tired. He's hunched. He doesn't know what he will find here. Padme's words had been short and cryptic.

"Come and see for yourself what kind of man he has become," she had finally snapped at him when he had come back to her begging to know about Obi Wan, about Vader. Rumors say Vader is dead. He's not so certain.

Naboo hasn't changed in all these years. Lush forests cover green rolling hills, until the gentle slopes finally reach the serene water. Balconies and patios peek out from under the greenery, half hidden alcoves to protect the privacy of those who seek solace here. Green copper domes and pink stone buildings blend with their surroundings, making themselves discreet.

Qui Gon wonders if he's intruding. He doesn't care. He seeks answers. No. He seeks a man. A man he has forsaken years ago. They have suffered enough, and he wants to put an end to their shared pain.

There's a silhouette, sitting cross-legged on one of the railings of a balcony, it's balance only precarious in appearance. They are still, so still they could be mistaken to be made of stone. 

"Why are you here, Qui Gon? Are you going to blame the suffering of the Galaxy on me once again?"

The illusion shatters. The voice is like an icy wind, all biting irony, devoid of any warmth. Qui Gon shivers. The balmy sun suddenly can't seem to touch him and the balmy weather feels chilly.

"If so, please do it now, Qui Gon. I am tired of all this." It's so disconcerting to hear his earlier feelings echoed word for word from this man he hasn't known in decades. 

"Would you turn and look at me please?" he begs. He needs to see the other man's eyes. He needs to make sure once and for all, and stop being haunted by a vision. It's time for him to face the Moment. He wonders for one brief moment if Obi Wan is going to refuse him.

But he turns, getting down and putting his feet back on the ground and Qui Gon lays his eyes on Obi Wan Kenobi for the first time since the hell on Mustafar. For the first time in years, Qui Gon _sees_ Obi Wan. The deep lines that are etched into his face, the white streaks at his temples, the dark bags under his eyes. 

The eyes. Qui Gon can't stop looking at them. 

They are not sulfur yellow and red like the lava on Mustafar. They are a washed out and haunted grey. Obi Wan smiles, devoid of mirth and warmth.

"Am I what you expected to see, Qui Gon? The living incarnation of all your mistakes?"

Qui Gon can't speak. He can't move. He looks at Obi Wan and weeps. This is no Sith. This is no Vader. This is Obi Wan. 

"Are you going to condemn me with your silence even now, Qui Gon?" Tears slip from Obi Wan eyes, unnoticed by the man himself but Qui Gon can't help but look at them, each of them an accusation louder than any word.

He doesn't say a word. Instead he reaches out, inch by inch, half afraid of what Obi Wan might do, until he's wiping the tears from Obi Wan's cheeks, just the barest touch, featherlight.

It's enough to break Obi Wan. Qui Gon can only look as his former apprentice folds in on himself and lets go. Terrible sobs wrack his frame. He's shaking. But his cries are utterly silent.

An ugly noise tears itself out of Qui Gon's throat. _Oh my dear one. What have I done to you?_ He collapses to his knees in front of everyone and hugs him. Obi Wan is thin under his soft high collared tunic. Gone are the tabards, the belt, the heavy boots. But Obi Wan is still a Jedi, despite all the death and pain and treason.

All Qui Gon can do is rock the man in his arms and whisper a litany of regrets into the russet hair. His own tears come unbidden but it doesn't matter. What matters is finally putting the vision that tore their life apart to rest.

When Obi Wan’s sobs finally calm down, Qui Gon doesn't let him go, just holds him tighter still. He doesn't talk. Doesn't say a word. And that persistent silent breaks Qui Gon anew. 

"I have been afraid. The Force showed me a vision years ago and in my insolence I thought I knew how to handle it. But it plagued me and the fear wouldn't let me go. In my fear, I failed to see what was right in front of me. I failed you and all the Jedi."

"Why didn't you come to me, Qui Gon? Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I am a foolish man Obi Wan. Only recently have I discovered just how much of a fool I am, how gullible my fear made me. I failed to see the darkness in Anakin and rather than trusting my senses, I doubted you, thinking I was doing the right thing and trusting the Force instead."

Qui Gon takes a deep breath, his voice is ragged but now that he's begun talking, he can't stop. 

"But it wasn't the Force I trusted, it was myself. So sure was I, that my interpretation was right that I never really doubted it and condemned you for something that was never your fault. No apologies can ever begin to fix all the harm I’ve done."

He lets Obi Wan go, despite Obi Wan's noise of protest and his hands come to cup Obi Wan's face, tilting up the dearest face, so he could look him in the eyes.

"I won't ask for forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it. But would you accept me by your side again ?" His heart is in throat.

"You're asking for much, Qui Gon Jinn," rasps Obi Wan, "but I am tired of this farce. I would rather have you by my side than the sorrow and emptiness that plagues my waking hours and follows me into my dreams."

The words hang between them, gossamer thin, clear and fragile like glass. It's more than Qui Gon could ever hope for. 

They stay here, side by side, carefully apart, letting their emotions be soothed by the soft sound of water lapping at the sun warmed stones. They stay there until the last golden rays of light disappear behind the horizon and soft silver moonlight rises above them.

Obi Wan shivers next to him, but Qui Gon doesn't offer him his cloak, all too aware of how delicate the trust Obi Wan extends to him is. Obi Wan rises up first.

"Padme is going to worry I have not come back yet," he says. No mention of Qui Gon's role in all this, but as Obi Wan leaves, he turns back to the old master, head tilted to the side, questioning.

"Are you coming?" Qui Gon made the mistake once, of leaving Obi Wan's side. He won't do it again. He hurries after the other man.

Padme welcomes Obi Wan back with open arms, even if she makes her displeasure with Qui Gon known quite plainly. Obi Wan is not the only one he has to apologize to. He should have trusted Padme more. 

Time goes by, they heal side by side, slowly. When Padme is not busy with the twins, she's neck deep organising the Rebellion with Bail Organa and Mon Monthma. Unlike their mother, the twins hold no grudges against Qui Gon and adopt him straight away in their little family.

Luke and Leia are the only ones who can bring a smile to Obi Wan's face some days, when the melancholy hangs over him like a dark cloud. Leia in particular doesn't like that. So on those days, she would crawl in Obi Wan's lap and take residence there, falling asleep as Obi Wan smoothed her hair. 

Qui Gon's heart that had lived frozen in fear for decades melts a little with every smile from Luke and passionate tirades from Leia. But most of all, it's finally getting to see all those small moments of Obi Wan for the first time as he tells the twins stories, helps Padme organize the budding Rebellion, practises katas and so many other things that Qui Gon missed.

Obi Wan's hair grows longer by the day, and Leia is delighted to give him one of her many ribbons to tie his hair. He's her knight, she proudly proclaims, which never fails to bring a soft fond smile to Obi Wan's face.

Today they are back on that balcony. The weather is not as fine as that first day. The sun has trouble breaking out from behind the clouds but white golden light still spills from the gaps. The wind whips around them and Obi Wan's ribbon is torn from his hair. Like flames they dance around his face and Qui Gon is mesmerised. He barely catches the ribbon with a touch of the Force before it can reach the water, and turns around to gift it back to Obi Wan.

He never does. The younger master is laughing, head tossed back, arms spread and sleeves billowing, readying to take flight. He looks free. Freer than Qui Gon has ever seen him. He tucks the ribbon away into his own sleeves and just looks at Obi Wan, utterly at peace. 

When the wind dies down and rain begins to pour, Obi Wan turns toward Qui Gon and extends a hand. Qui Gon takes it and holds onto it like his life depends on it. They come back soaked to the bones, with blinding smiles on their faces.

Qui Gon never lets the hand go, nor the ribbon. And later, much later, when the twins have grown and Ahsoka has come back from running her Rebellion cell, Qui Gon takes the ribbon out again and Ahsoka twines it around his and Obi Wan's wrists as they are bonded before their family and in the Force.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most amazing kyber_erso has gifted this fic with two splendid art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much Kyber for these astoudingly beautiful arts that are the crowning jewel of this fic

Qui Gon wonders if he's intruding. He doesn't care. He seeks answers. No. He seeks a man. A man he has forsaken years ago. They have suffered enough, and he wants to put an end to their shared pain.

There's a silhouette, sitting cross-legged on one of the railings of a balcony, it's balance only precarious in appearance. They are still, so still they could be mistaken to be made of stone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go check out kyber's tumblr, you won't regret it : https://kyber-erso.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Leia falling asleep on Obi Wan is inspired by kyber erso's amazing art that you can check out here : https://kyber-erso.tumblr.com/post/643845753384714240


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